The inside

Throw down your guns,
toss aside every bullet.
She doesn’t need your holes,
she feels hollow already.

Get rid of every sharp thing,
you’ve used at her.
She’s looking for them now,
she wants to slit her wrists.

All your words strtuck her,
in her heart like lightning.
They were like thunder,
to the scared girl inside.

Those flaws you saw on her skin,
they’re reflections of your own.
She’s always been flawless,
she thinks otherwise, though.

Everything you said or did,
might not have been visible to your eyes.
She knows she’s not okay,
she has scars on the inside of her.

“hang on.”

“hang on”
i said
“to what?”
he asked

“keep going”
i told him
“Alright”
he replied

“you can”
i tried
“hopefully”
he didn’t believe

and today,
he said those words
to me
but i didn’t reply

And today
my thoughts overpowered me
i didn’t react
i didn’t care

“hang on”
“keep going”
“you can”
but i couldn’t

nothing to hang onto
nothing to keep going for
i didn’t see another way
I’m sorry it happened

i stopped caring
long ago
but now
i stopped feeling too

text showed up
on a lit screen
never to find a reply,
my fingers were cold.

The Moment

She looked at the bathtub,
it was filling up with color.
She peered closer and smiled,
she could smell it too now.

This was the scent,
that would cover them both.
She sat on the edge,
waiting for him.

When he casually strolled in,
she embraced him with a longing.
The water fizzled and shifted as they got in,
never letting go of one another.

Steam rose from the warm water,
and the mirror was too foggy to look into.
But they didn’t need it,
they just needed each other.

The moment was theirs,
sitting there in the tub,
They held each other tight,
while bath-bombs fizzed around them.

She whispered, “always stay here,
never leave me, be mine”.
He kissed her, and then said,
“all yours, forever and always”.

 

(picture via Pinterest)

3:00 a.m.

it’s 3:00 a.m,
we’re fighting over chat.
There’s a movie in the background,
no heed to that.

You’re hurt,
I’m upset.
It’s all gone wrong,
my pillow is wet.

It’s one of those days,
we don’t know what to do.
I’m hoping it’ll work out,
can’t really lose you.

I’ve messed up,
you’re done with me,
But please,don’t give up,
I think it’s meant to be.

not another care in the world,
not another sound to be heard.
don’t worry about us,
there isn’t a third.

Forget those times,
there’s nothing about them.
For now, I know that
I’m losing me a gem.

You’re slowly slipping away,
into the darkness around.
There’s a confidence in you,
bold, newly found.

No, don’t go,
it’s 3:00 a.m.
but you’re the one I think of
even at 3:00 p.m.

“Get lost”,
you say.
But I’m too clingy,
And it’s already day.

It’s gone too far,
I’m ready to give up.
Sitting up in my bed,
I drink some water from my cup.

Suddenly, it’s all good,
we’re both tired,
but everything’s alright,
and now, together we’re wired.

 

Photograph

He thought he was broken,
too torn apart to be put together.
he was done,
his was a face of a lost soul.

But, she saw him,
she saw his sad,beautiful eyes,
and his sculpted face,
so she took a shot.

He heard it,
whipped around, enraged,
he saw her standing,
the weapon in her hands.

Then, she showed him,
with a little smile,
what she held in her hand,
and he gave in.

She handed it to him,
and he wiped his eyes,
she took his hand,
and she led him through.

He couldn’t have been happier,
in that dimly lit room,
where he saw the face in his mirror,
hanging everywhere.

Grins, giggles, and grim expressions,
it all changed his soul,
her camera saved his life,
and he put up the photograph too.

Grey

My nails are painted grey,
It’s the only color I want
and the only one I feel,
even black is too colorful now

Grey is how my life feels,
you were like a rainbow,
tossing your colors for everyone to see,
but now, not for me.

The sky is filled with grey clouds,
and the rain seems soothing,
but nothing can covber up
for your voice or touch.

Everything is grey.
The dullest shade of grey.
I wish you’d come back.
I miss you and all your color.

Music

Every melody i hear
makes my head throb,
And every soft voice
seems so threatening.

Nothing is the same now
because you’re gone
And with you went a bag
filled with my happiness.

All the music is gone,
every sound a noise,
And nothing anyone does
can change that now.

No sound can be heard
with my head underwater,
In a bathtub filled to the brim,
that’s where I’ll lie.

Dark

I shut the door,
didn’t want to turn on the lights,
didn’t want to take another step,
didn’t want to move an inch.

I wanted nothing more
than a shoulder to cry on,
than a hand to steady me,
than a pair of arms to embrace me.

Now I just want to sit
and cry until I can’t anymore,
and lie until I can’t get up,
and die until I’m just a body.

I thought we could be us,
until I realised that the dark wasn’t momentary,
until I knew I couldn’t anymore,
until I saw you give up.

And all I have now,
is a dark room,
where I’m alone
with my dark thoughts.

the lake

i stepped out

onto the empty street

the street lights lit the path

the moon was nowhere to be seen
the lake was nearby

i walked alone

a short walk

and not a soul in sight
the lake looked lovely

reflecting the lights

the smell of wet earth hung in the air

there wasn’t a single sound to be heard
the lake was dark

i ventured closer

and stepped into the cool water

and stood there for a while
the lake was cold

the water strangely pleasant

it called me to go further

and memories flashed before my shut eyes
the lake pulled me to itself

my feet moved onwards

the ground beneath me disappeared

i was on my own
the lake was inviting

i took a last breath

went under

and finally let go
the lake was a killer

they said the next day

they blamed the lake

while the true culprit sat waiting