Mind

I’m not always happy.

Even when I’m smiling

I’m not happy.

There’s something wrong.

Something isn’t right.

I don’t like this place,

But it’s my own mind.

It’s getting dark inside.

I need some light.

Where’s the air?

Why can’t I breathe?

I need something to hold.

I need someone.

Something’s not right.

That smile on my face,

It’s not mine.

Who’s is it?

See my truth.

Someone look through the mask.

Someone pull it aside.

Someone pull me out.

Help me escape.

Help me get out.

3:00 a.m.

it’s 3:00 a.m,
we’re fighting over chat.
There’s a movie in the background,
no heed to that.

You’re hurt,
I’m upset.
It’s all gone wrong,
my pillow is wet.

It’s one of those days,
we don’t know what to do.
I’m hoping it’ll work out,
can’t really lose you.

I’ve messed up,
you’re done with me,
But please,don’t give up,
I think it’s meant to be.

not another care in the world,
not another sound to be heard.
don’t worry about us,
there isn’t a third.

Forget those times,
there’s nothing about them.
For now, I know that
I’m losing me a gem.

You’re slowly slipping away,
into the darkness around.
There’s a confidence in you,
bold, newly found.

No, don’t go,
it’s 3:00 a.m.
but you’re the one I think of
even at 3:00 p.m.

“Get lost”,
you say.
But I’m too clingy,
And it’s already day.

It’s gone too far,
I’m ready to give up.
Sitting up in my bed,
I drink some water from my cup.

Suddenly, it’s all good,
we’re both tired,
but everything’s alright,
and now, together we’re wired.

 

Colors Like Death

Red like the blood
flowing through my veins,
Red like the hoodie
hiding me from the cold.

Orange like the sun
setting behind the trees,
Orange like the pen
scribbling in my notebook.

Yellow like the cup
holding all my pens,
Yellow like the post-its
reminding me to do stuff i won’t.

Green like the marker
lying with its cap open,
Green like the grass
rustling in the wind.

Blue like the sky
turning dark by the minute,
Blue like my hair-tie,
holding no hair at all.

Indigo like the paper cutter
opening and closing in my hand,
Indigo like the empty jar of cream
now filled with little paper cranes.

Violet like the paper crane
longing to leave my desk,
Violet like the roll of tape
sitting unused in the dispenser.

Black like the darkness
waiting for thee,
Black like the death
that’s waiting for me.

Dark

I shut the door,
didn’t want to turn on the lights,
didn’t want to take another step,
didn’t want to move an inch.

I wanted nothing more
than a shoulder to cry on,
than a hand to steady me,
than a pair of arms to embrace me.

Now I just want to sit
and cry until I can’t anymore,
and lie until I can’t get up,
and die until I’m just a body.

I thought we could be us,
until I realised that the dark wasn’t momentary,
until I knew I couldn’t anymore,
until I saw you give up.

And all I have now,
is a dark room,
where I’m alone
with my dark thoughts.